Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Keith’ Category

Ten years ago today, I began dating the boy who would become the man who would become my husband, my hero, my best friend.

Through all the craziness in the past ten years – whether it be medical, family-related, loss, or growing pains – there has been one constant.  Keith.  He has been firmly placed by my side through it all.  I still don’t know what other high school Junior would choose to go bravely, unfaltering, even happily along side all this, but I’m glad I found the one who would.

I had asked him why a few months ago.  Why would a teenager choose this?  He took a while to answer, but his response was the unbearable guilt he would have felt.  My first thought was guilt?!?  He stayed with me because he would have felt guilty if he hadn’t?  No, he explained.  I would have felt guilt for the rest of my life for leaving someone I loved to go through it all alone.

Keith is a child in a grown man’s body.  He likes playing video games, wearing screen tee’s and jeans, and eating Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  He can’t balance the books, doesn’t know how to use a calender, and has to play 20 Questions just to send a check off.  And yet, he possesses more maturity than almost any other man I know.  He was unhesitatingly there when I spent months bed-bound and home-schooled as a teenager.  He didn’t have a second thought about taking a girl in a wheelchair to Senior Prom.  He only worried about my experience for nearly 5 years of a long-distance relationship while we were in undergrad.  He calmly and compassionately cared for me when I was having seizures daily, episodes that were messy and scary.  And he confidently held my hand as we listened to the doctor’s tell us that I had a progressive and incurable neuromuscular disease.  He’s always there.

I found out recently that not everyone considers his or her spouse as a “best friend.” This shocked me. It makes me incredibly sad. Sure, there’s still love and loyalty that keep those relationships together (as far as I know), but I can’t imagine not having my best friend there with me through it all. I don’t know whether we could have made it through those difficult times without our friendship. Love and loyalty can only get you so far; being able to enjoy and share our time together has made all the difference. We can play board games one-on-one until the pieces wear out. We can goof and giggle through 10-hour road trips. We can talk until 3 am. Or just sit and be. Silently. It doesn’t matter what we do or where we are as long as we’re together.

Weeks before we married nearly 3 years ago, a friend joked that we had already done the whole “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health” deal. And we had. Well, we had done the “for poorer” and “in sickness” parts, at least. So I wonder, would things even out and be for worse if we had health and riches? Because right now, things are so good and so strong between us that I can’t imagine a “better.” I honestly can’t imagine being happier. I can’t imagine a life without him.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

As you may have noticed, I’ve been mostly absent from the internet for over two weeks now. Following an internet snafu at our apartment that took far too long to remedy (thank you, Comcast…), I’m baaaack! And we are now the proud owners of a land-line with a Massachusetts phone number! Yahoo!

I must say that it was somewhat nice not having internet. I didn’t stress over e-mail or Facebook or even the weather. Whatever happened, happened. It’d still be there when I got the internet back. I was able to check for important e-mails and monitor bank accounts and the like by borrowing internet from friends every few days, but it was for minutes at a time and just for the essentials. It was almost as if I were back in the 1990s! And I loved it!

But now that I’m back, I’ll give you a brief update on the last 18 days, you know, in the few hours I wasn’t catching up on sleep! 😛

(more…)

Read Full Post »

It’s hard to describe exactly how I’m feeling.  My emotions are still incredibly complex and difficult to decipher.

For well over a year, I’ve lived with a “clinical” diagnosis of mitochondrial disease, the result of a lifetime of various symptoms and presentations. What does this entail? Many of my doctors felt that my symptoms and test results were indicative of mito. And they were going to treat it as such. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a stigma attached to a clinical diagnosis. Both in the medical field and among other Mitovians (families affected by mito). Physicians don’t take it seriously (no “proof”!) and frequently suggest a psychological basis (either on behalf of the parent or the patient) to explain the multitude of medical issues – despite tests implying otherwise. And the mito community itself frequently scoffs at clinical diagnoses. Despite all the good we gain from the camaraderie provided by the amazing support network of the mito community, there is also plenty of judgment and doubt.  Some diagnoses are deemed “more serious” or “more true” based on the diagnosis method.  It’s unfortunate, but true.

There are diagnoses based on muscle biopsies (these seem to be given the most credence, despite the high false negative rate).  And there are diagnoses based on genetic mutations or deletions (these are usually given a good bit of respect, but have a high false positive rate, because although mutations are present, they may not be expressed).  Finally, at the bottom, we have “clinical diagnosis.”  These are generally symptom-based with a few objective studies and laboratories to back up the decision.  These are often regarded as untrue, made-up, without basis.  And it sucks that patients aren’t given care by doctors just because these clinical diagnoses are not believed.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

About 7 hours after I posted my last blog, I was finally settled in my room. By that time, my temperature had started rising. Before I fell asleep (around 8:30pm), my temperature had risen to 100.6. That’s nothing, my body told the nurses, just you wait and see! But the next vitals (around midnight), my temperature had risen to 101.8. I can’t still do better than that. My temperature at 4am was 102.4 and rising. Almost there… I hit 103.2 before it started going back down.

But my temperature wasn’t what really had them worried.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

I checked back in to Chateau de MGH last night. Yup, they just couldn’t keep me away!

Over the last couple days, I had been getting increasingly worse sharp pain in my upper left abdomen. I joked to Keith that my spleen and pancreas were duking it out. But I hadn’t pooped in three weeks so it could just be constipation, right? We started pushing mag citrate through the tube. 3 bottles over 30 hours, to be exact. No success.

It hurt to move, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to sneeze and cough and burp. I laid on the couch in the fetal position all day on Tuesday with the occasional moan or whimper. Keith threatened to take me to the ER on numerous occasions. I resisted. I had just escaped; there was no way I was going back so soon. I gave in to pain medication and took 4mg dilaudid PO. I didn’t even get a slight buzz… there was something wrong with that. Four hours later, I crushed another 4mg and put it through the tube. Still no relief. No wooziness even. What was wrong? Why wasn’t my body absorbing it?

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Today marks Day #21 in patient at MGH. It also marks our first real blizzard since moving to New England.

I apologize for the delay in posts. The second go at the GJ procedure was a success, but I’ve been in a significant amount of pain and discomfort since then. And not too much has changed – despite yet another tube running into my body. Nonetheless, this will likely be a long post to get everyone updated on the latest news.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

As I sit in my room at MGH for the 7th day now – with no end in sight – I had begun to forget that Christmas was just around the corner. I got about halfway through decorating our tree before I went inpatient and I’m not sure if I’ll even get the chance to finish before the holiday is upon us.

Luckily, Keith and I have decided to continue with our trend in recent years and scale the holidays back this year. We’re certainly not scaling back the holiday cheer – oh, no! But we try to walk a different path when it comes to the consumer aspects.

Each year, we hem and haw, stress and spend. And what’s the result? We give our loved ones things. Gift cards that get lost. Trinkets that gather dust. Games that are played for a few months, then forgotten.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »